If Only by June Wolfman

If Only by June Wolfman

Terrance loped along, noticing a million details on and around the train station platform, until he reached the cluster of would-be riders at the east end. Gifted with the ability to read minds, Terrance girded himself for the onslaught of input he was about to receive. Terrance had another “gift.” He could plant a seed in someone’s being, and that very day they would die. He learned the trick when a soldier in Afghanistan.  His guide, a member of a minority religion, taught him. It was something like picturing someone’s soul leaving their body, breaking the ties with this world. Some time ago, back from the war, Terrance gave himself rules: no killing out of anger; no killing out of dislike; only mercy killings.

A man in an impressive blue suit spoke to Terrance first. “Boy, I can’t wait for the meeting today. I am going to crush it. Now, I will finally get that nuisance, Bruce, demoted. That guy is a gadfly in my life. Always with the great ideas. Never sharing the spotlight. I wish this train would come already.”

Terrance looked at the man. He noticed the man was extremely well-groomed. His shave was close; his hands sparkled practically with cleanliness. Terrance was bored with this man and moved on to the woman behind the guy.

“Mother is 99 years old. Who lives to 99 after smoking and drinking her whole life? I agreed to take her in, but she was 80. I thought it was a sentence of maybe four years. Dementia, she gets now. I’ve been taking care of her for 19 years! Daddy left me enough to live on. I barely get out of the house! It feels odd to be on this platform, going to the dentist in the city. I just don’t know if I can take this any longer. If she lives to 103, even that would be four more years. It is not as if she ever shows affection or appreciation. She demands. She is chagrined. She has begun throwing things at me. Luckily, I have figured out how to keep a serving tray with me at all times, like a shield. Now she’s starting to need diapers. Just for pee right now. Just at night. But I can see what is coming. I just can’t take it anymore!”

Terrance took a twenty-dollar bill out of his pocket and looked the woman in the eye. “Ma’am, this is a gift for you. A random act of kindness. No strings attached. He practically shoved the bill into her hand and then turned and walked down the platform. He listened closely. Did she cheer up?”

“Twenty dollars! As a gift! Who does that? Is it poisoned? Is there fentanyl on it? Well, who cares? If it is poisoned, I’ll finally die before Mom. If it isn’t, I’ll have a nice lunch in the city.” She then returned to her diaper memories from the day before.

The train rumbled and hissed and came to a full stop in front of the gathering. Terrance made sure to sit close to the woman. Maybe she would confide in him. Maybe he could help her in some way.

After the rat-tat-tat of the train tracks began, he noticed the woman see him. She gave a half smile. She was alone in a two-seat extension.

“Would you like to sit with me?” she said, and then thought, “What am I doing?”

Terrance smiled and sat next to her, slid in fast and smooth so she would not reconsider.

“Tell me about yourself,” Terrance said gently.

“Oh, there is nothing to tell. I’m a caregiver to a 99-year-old woman who saps my life energy day and night. What about you?”

“Is the old woman related to you?”

“She is my mother.”

“What did you do before you took care of your mother?”

“I was a copywriter. I loved it.”

“Have you tried doing that from home?”

“I don’t know about that…the world has moved beyond me these last years.”

“It’s not hard. Any tech person could set you up. They could show you where to find the freelance jobs.”

“Well, that is interesting.”

“You could work from a common workplace, they have those now; You could use your pay to afford some help with your mother…at least the hours you are out of the house.”

The woman had a grey and brown bob haircut, and she began running her fingers through her hair.

“Are you an angel?” she asked.

“I’m a sort of an angel,” he answered.

The lady laughed. “I’m afraid I don’t have it in me to do all the things you suggested. I’m tired. To tell you the truth, I’m damn tired.”

Terrance did it then. He planted the death seed in the woman’s mind. She would be dead before sunset.

One happy side effect of the seed is that the person suddenly felt all their worldly cares were somehow lifted.

“What’s your name?” the woman asked, now smiling with joy in her eyes.

“I’m Terrance. What’s your name?”

“I’m Linda,” she said. “Listen, I was going to an appointment, but maybe you would like to go to Central Park with me instead. Just as a lark! It’s a beautiful day!”

“Yes, I should watch over you today.”

“Watch over me?” she giggled.

“An expression,” he said.

The train pulled into New York City, and Terrance led Linda up the platform to the taxi stand. They took a taxi to Central Park.

Linda began skipping. She climbed a small tree! She kicked off her shoes and ran around.

Terrance thought it a shame that this was all temporary, but he felt he had done the right thing. He felt strongly that he did.

Linda said, “Don’t you just love spring in Central Park, Terrance?”

“Have you always loved it?” Terrance asked.

“Catch me!” she sang out as she ran around in the park. “Bet you can’t catch me!”

Terrance sprinted after Linda, thinking it was sort of like she was drunk. He didn’t want someone to hurt her. He sprinted with his long legs, caught her, turned her toward him, and hugged her gently.

Then she clutched her chest and fell to the ground. In just a moment, she was gone.

Terrance called 911, gave Linda’s location, and loped with his long legs away from her.

* * * * THE END * * * *
Copyright June Wolfman 2026

Image Source: Dey from Fictom.com