Muscle Movie Review: Expendables 3

They are back and its a bang! This mission starts with the rescue of 8 year hellhole prisoner Wesley Snipes to be rescued off a military train transporting him to worse hell. If you think the fireworks and fighting in these first 10 minutes is spectacular – well this was just an errand while their primary mission is to stop an arms deal in Somalia.

All hell breaks loose and there is a thrilling “car” chase using military vehicles. The target is a surprise. A dead man from Stallone’s past is alive and well. Enter MEL GIBSON. He is mesmerising and totally a cool cat as the villain. He easily beats out the Expendables 2 villainous turn by Van Damme. Clearly Mel Gibson breathes the life into this sequel of the franchise.

Battered and out-gunned the Expendables chief calls it a day. He tells the guys that they are officially over. No more missions. The guys don’t take it very well but they have no choice.

Stallone meanwhile runs into his CIA Boss. No, no Bruce Willis this time. Enter Harrison Ford. He plays it cool as he did in his previous roles in Tom Clancy novel adaptations. He tells the old man Stallone to complete the mission. Stallone goes out to recruit new blood – young blood. Kelsey Grammar comes along as the HR Department for Stallone. Together they pack up a team of 4 young ones including a feisty MMA gal as their team. Arnold Schwarzenegger is the pilot.

Mission: Bring in Mel Gibson alive to be tried at the Hague as a War Criminal.

The jokes on Stallone as the young ones laugh at his plan. The gal says it best when she says, “It would be a great plan if it was 1985”.

The young ones use technology to control security and electric wiring and easily capture Mel alive and into a van for transport to Hague. He is wearing a GPS tracker and Stallone’s crew doesn’t get too far with their hot package. It is revealed that Mel Gibson is a founder member of Expendables who quit after “America eats its own babies” incident in one old mission.

Stallone survives the rocket into the van while others are captured alive as hostage and bait for Stallone and CIA.

Broken and defeated again, Stallone wants to go in all Rambo-commando all alone. Arnold tells him the truth – suicide. Antonio Banderas who was rejected earlier by the HR shows up in time and convinces Stallone to take him on the one-way trip to hell. It is known that Antonio Banderas is the sole surviving agent from the Benghazi massacre where no back up ever arrived.

The old crew of Stallone shows up – Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren, Wesley Snipes and Couture. Stallone is grateful and takes them on board. One way ticket indeed.

The 4 kids are strapped as bait in a brokedown city in a defunct nation. The entire building setup with C4 explosives. A normal team would have 90 seconds to get out. So Mel Gibson offers them 45 seconds to survive the blast. The young ones step in and jam the receivers from getting the blast signal. The defunct nation army therefore has to set loose upon these 9 Expendables.

What follows is an epic battle and gunfire. It is an education in weaponry and assault. If you thought you knew all about war and guns, here is something to jog the memory and add some more to your collection.

Harrison Ford really does want his target alive. He recruits Arnold and Jet Li to get to the target and support Stallone. Few know that Harrison Ford in real life is a registered rescue pilot and really does know how to handle a helicopter. He does well as the pilot while Arnold has his favourite big guns to blast holes into the heads of pawn soldiers of defunctistan.

An epic climax awaits with one on one unarmed combat between Mel Gibson and Stallone. The building blasted through shells of military Tanks is about to go up in the wired C4. The only way off is the roof and Ford collects them all except Stallone duking it out with Mel Gibson.

Well, the epic nail biting finish is picture perfect as the entire building goes down while Stallone runs up the roof and jumps to hang on to the chopper.

The Expendables are back home and safe and now a big team with average age dropping like extras in an action movie. Yes, the new young ones get their tattoo and even Antonio Banderas is an Expendable now.

Arnold however has not retired and instead poached off Jet Li who now works for him.

Thrilling and massive and spectacular. Watch it to believe it.

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